Ghetto Pat
Age: 23
The oldest member of the family and somehow voted Most Handsome Man Alive five years in a row, Ghetto Pat is the group's resident ladies' man. He's never had a real relationship outside of his toxic, on-again, off-again romance with Beyonsay Brown—his dangerously obsessed ex-girlfriend who actively attempts to kill him whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Ghetto Pat is infamous for his registered hands, which he rarely uses after accidentally killing someone in the past. He avoids fighting whenever possible, but when his family is in real danger, he has no problem putting them back to work.
After Beyonsay once transformed him into a starfish using her Hoodoo spaghetti, Ghetto Pat somehow came out of the experience with the supernatural ability to communicate with and control sea animals.
But saving Brown Sugar City usually ranks pretty low on his list of priorities. Ghetto Pat would much rather spend his time with what he proudly calls “the baddies,” and he will use almost any excuse imaginable to get out of a family mission.